[Feedback requested] I was asked to write a small excerpt on my experience


#1

I have been working as a freelance graphics Artist for over 10 years. I transitioned into Visual Design and Later UI design in 2012. I started applying to full time agency jobs and a User Experience designer and I was asked to write a small excerpt on my various skills ( research, design, and prototyping). Majority of my experience came from either freelance work, or releasing my own brand of mobile apps. Id appreciate it if anyone could look over the next 3 paragraphs and give me their opinions.

"UX Research Experience
I have over 7 years’ experience creating competitive and consumer behavior analysis I have an additional 5 years’ experience in drafting user journeys, Personas, scenarios, card sorting, and conducting user interviews (online). I started my journey in 2010 when I formed a small development team and began designing and creating my own brand of Windows Phone 7 apps. One of which reached the top 200 upcoming app in the market place store.

Visual Design Experience
I have over 10 years’ experience working as a freelance Graphic Designer, where I used Photoshop, illustrator, and 3D studio max extensively.to complete 96 client projects with a total rating of 4.51 /5 stars through Odesk. In 2012 I transitioned from graphic design to user Interface Design where it was my responsibility to take wireframe and create high-fidelity mockups for websites, mobile apps, and desktop software.

Development Skills
I have over 3 years’ experience using HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and rapid prototyping. "


#2

Hi ya,
I’ve given it a bit of an edit for you:

UX Research Experience
I have over 7 years’ experience creating conducting competitive and consumer behavior analysis. I have an additional 5 years’ experience in drafting user journeys, creating personas and scenarios, card sorting and conducting user interviews (online). I started my journey My journey started in 2010 when I formed a small development team and began designing and creating my own brand of Windows Phone 7 apps. One , one of which reached the top 200 upcoming apps in the market place store.

Visual Design Experience
I have over 10 years’ experience working as a freelance graphic designer. where I used Photoshop, Illustrator and 3D Studio Max extensively. to complete 96 client projects with a total an average rating of 4.51/5 stars through Odesk. In 2012 I transitioned from graphic design to user Interface UI design where it was my responsibility to take I was responsible for taking wireframe wireframes and create creating high-fidelity mockups for websites, mobile apps and desktop software.